YOU CAN KEEP A GOOD WOMAN DOWN- but not quite
forever
historical battles addressing inequality –
written in 2003
___________________________________________________________
This past month we have seen in Canada a budget
announcement targeting nearly a billion dollars to children cared for in regulated daycare, incentives to women to work outside
the home, glowing bubbling statements of choices and productivity and valuing our children. It was a short announcement, made with a splash of hurrah from all those who lobbied long for it, and carefully failing
to mention all kids not in daycare, all parents using other informal care arrangements, all women doing unpaid caregiving
work, in fact ignoring over half the nation. It was a model of most of the clever
ways governments has used for centuries to help some of the people some of the time.
But I am not as shocked as I would have been 30
years ago not just because I am aware of the tricks but also because I really
feel that in the movement to recognize the part of the economy such budgets always ignore- unpaid work – we are well
along towards succeeding anyway. For we are near what Malcolm Gladwell might call’ the tipping point’. In any movement of vast social change there are stages, and I believe we are well into stage 3 of
the 4 stages.
Gandhi once said there were four stages to social
revolutions.. First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then they fight you. Then you win.
Most human rights were won by this long process.
The UN lists basic rights such as the right to not be forced to do child labor, the right to not be slaves, the right to not
have extrajudicial disappearances, to not be tortured, to not be detained without charge, to not have compulsory religion,
to not have mail censorship, the right to vote, the right to independent newspapers, the right to a quick appearance before
a judge or court, the right to interracial marriage, the right to equality of the sexes. And blood has been shed to win most
of those rights. And I think that however smug western industrialized nations
may feel now, there are still a few equality rights not yet won. One is to recognize unpaid caregiving, the mundane care of
the sick, young, elderly, handicapped and dying that has been traditionally female work, unsung and unpaid. It was this work that was the focus of the UN Conference on Women in Beijing in 1995.
And I believe we are well along in this movement..
Polls show it and the politically correct terminology used even by government adopts the language of the movement- choices
for parents, best interests of the child, attachment. So though the Canadian budget ignores the value of such work, still,
it uses terminology of choice the movement uses.
Some have likened any big social movement to a
river. It starts with a few droplets coming down off the icy mountain, single
droplets, individuals acting nearly alone.
a. First they ignore you
The first stage of any movement is easy to ignore.
Each droplet seems insignificant. It starts in the log cabin of Abraham Lincoln,
in the poverty of Gandhi or Mandela or Rosa Parks. It starts small.
Often it is linked to poverty. Henrietta Muir
Edwards in Canada sold miniature paintings she made just to raise funds to cover
costs of running a small periodical about women. Elizabeth Cady Stanton in 1848 held the first woman’s rights convention
in America, in her home.
In my work to get the state to give tax recognition
to caregivers such as homemakers, I was as if my letters had wafted away with the wind. It took months to get an answer if
I ever got one, and usually it was a form letter saying ‘Thanks for writing. Be sure to write again”
Being ignored is actually a kind of good sign
because it means the overclass has no good answer- it is a quiet admission that logic is on your side. But of course we don’t read it that way. The state chooses
to ignore a movement as a first line of defense. Even today it is common to put an issue out of the public eye simply by the
state convening a committee to study your issue, with an indefinite time frame. When I made a complaint at the United Nations
in 1997 that Canadian law ignored homemaking functions, for two years Canada ignored my complaint which I suppose if nothing
else, proved my point.
There are many ways to ignore people. Ancient
Rome ignored most adults by denying them citizenship. Blackstone’s 1765
Commentaries on the Laws of England said women were nonpersons. Blacks were not on the radar screen of those with rights because
in social Darwinism it was deemed biologically evident they were not fully human anyway.
A Philadelphia newspaper assessed women suffragettes briefly saying’ A woman is a nobody” Susan B. Anthony observed that woman has never been thought of other than a piece of property.
Married women disappeared in identity when they were required to take the name of their husband. In Canada women were not
considered “persons’ under the law. Black slaves were property not human, and they could be traded. They had no
rights to a free trial if they ran away and were caught.
In South Africa Nelson Mandela noticed that being
black reduced a person to the status of nonperson. Jews were considered subhuman, inferior to the master race in Hitler’s philosophy. And once you consider the
‘other’ unlike you significantly, it becomes much easier to live with your conscience and keep him down.
Being ignored is a well-known state strategy –
‘the silent treatment’- but I always felt their silence was not golden.. It is yellow.
b. Then they laugh at you
Stage two of the movement requires courage. Those who raise their voices in a way too
noticeable to ignore because it is somehow public, are t hen exposed to the next defense the dominant class has – to
mock you. Fannie Lou Hamer charged into the US Democratic National Convention in 1864 saying that the all white delegation
there from Mississippi should not be seated because it was elected without the input of the huge black population in the state.
She got live TV coverage but then endured lost her job.
Susan B. Anthony, spoke up at a teachers’
convention in 1853 in the US saying the low salaries were because of the assumption women had few brains. Some women thanked
her for her comments but others drew aside their skirts and turned their backs. As she spoke up for women’s rights later
she was attached, threatened, burned in effigy, had acid thrown on her dress and was called a “brawling woman’
by the Syracuse Star newspaper. A 55 year olds man said to her “ I would rather see my wife or daughter in her coffin
than hear her speaking as you did before a public assembly”
Sometimes the weapon to mock others is words.
The terms ‘nigger, faggot, fairy, blackie, darkie, bitch’ are no accident in our culture for they are barbs to
keep an underclass down.
Nowadays however the mocking is more subtle –
in a gush of caring reaction, the dominant class may take a medical view, saying the upstart is unbalanced and needs medical
care. So in the 60s women who were not allowed entrance to corporate boardrooms, colleges or
private clubs were medicated to calm them. Even today women’s hormones
are used to suggest women are not rational– during PMS or during ‘pregnancy fog’ or post-natally. It was not much different when Premier Duff Roblin of Manitoba said women should not be allowed to vote
because they were too emotional. Willard Eugene Allen in Florida was confined to a mental hospital for 16 years because he
was homosexual. To be different was rated as insanity.
One of the reasons this mental labelling works
is that it makes the person doubt himself and even seek out the treatment, believing thoughts the present system is unfair
are aberrant thoughts.
And those in power often can make their mocking
sound scientific and cleverly logical to some listeners . Elizabeth Cady Stanton
quoted state policy - ‘the negro’s skin and the woman’s sex are both prima facie evidence that they were
intended to be in subjection to the white Saxon man’ Indians in North America
by their race and color were considered subhuman ‘savages’.
Women entering abortion clinics have been physically
or verbally harassed as ‘baby killers’. Their decision is labelled’
anti-life’ even though they may very much feel suicidal without the procedure so are actually very much pro-life.
The power of mocking is not just that it unsettles
and demoralizes the lone droplet trying to flow. It also embarrasses those around her or
scares them. Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s father disinherited her for
a time for becoming a feminist lecturer. In Canada Emily Murphy in the late 1800s
wrote novels but to keep from family embarrassment used a pen name, Janey Canuck. Olive Schreiner in 1911 wrote “It
is the swimmer who first leaps into the frozen stream who is cut sharpest by the ice. It is the man or woman who first treads
the path which the bulk of humanity will ultimately follow who must find themselves at last in solitudes where the silence
is deadly”
Mary Wolstonecraft in 1792 in “A Vindication
of the Rights of Women’ had anticipated such criticism. She wrote that women bold enough to throw off prejudices “must
learn to brave censure”
Even from my corner when I spoke on national
radio in 1984 about the ways homemakers were kept down in society, I was understandably nervous, but the radio host told me
to put my head between me legs so I would not faint, a provision I did not feel necessary. And when I had finished he said
to me “Well I hope you learned your lesson and you never do that again’
Mocking the objector makes like-minded people
afraid to speak up too and many who one might assume would be grateful someone is finally arguing in their favor, are scared
to speak up and some have even convinced themselves they don’t deserve equality. Women were embarrassed at suffragettes
initially and felt they did not ‘know their place’. One woman was told she was acting ‘outside her sphere’.
So we have the irony that those who try to object are sometimes not only scorned but even punished by some on whose behalf
they are arguing. A sad fact little noted is that after women did win the vote in Canada in 1918, few used it the first round
they could.
Kate Millett said ‘Many women do not recognize
themselves as discriminated against. No better proof could be found of the totality of their conditioning” Shirley Chisholm
in 1970 said ‘Women should perceive that the negative attitudes they hold towards their own femaleness are the creation
of an anti-feminist society , just as the black shame at being black is a product of racism “ Nellie McClung said “Women who set a low value on themselves make life hard for all women”
But there is a sad consequence of the movement
that is fairly personal. Carol Lees admitted in an 1999 article that for most
of the 10 years of her activism to get rights for homemakers, her husband did not actually side with her and several of the
senior females in her family, many of them homemakers, encouraged her to stop
this women’s stuff. It may well be that family is not out so much to criticize
the activist as to protect him from hurts by others, but the nonsupport can be hurtful.
In my own experience I had married a man with a very unusual last name and I wanted to protect our 4 children from
any stigma from any association there might be with my work, so I used and continue to use my maiden name. For twenty years few media outlets knew and most still do not make the connection, mercifully.
Another strategy is to exaggerate the view of
the objector. In logic we would call this a red herring argument but it can work marvelously well. Because Susan B. Anthony
advocated votes for women she was accused of advocating polygamy and free love.
Gays are deemed not to just want a marriage between each other but to want to upset the whole world, to destroy all
that is sacred in marriage itself, to corrupt children and to one day lead to polygamy.
When Roblin denied women the vote he said that it would lead to anarchy and women would neglect their homes and children.
It is the mocking by exaggeration that is hard
to pin down because there are currents in society that like a simple answer. When
the media wants a quick 15 second clip about a news item it is easier to express it dramatically but over simplistically. Mandela is against whites. Homemakers
are against women who work outside the home. In fact Mandela said “ I have fought against white domination and I have
fought against black domination” In my own work to get caregiving
valued, the media time and time again has interviewed me as a counterpoint to daycare users, and told the audience I was anti-daycare.
One TV interviewer even suggested that I was acting too calm and I should not be afraid to get angry because it would up her
ratings. But I am in fact not against daycare – I am prochoice. I want all ways to raise kids funded equally. But the
media media tends to think in opposites. A movement for equality does not fit
into that paradigm.
Mocking the objector has another advantage for
the state – it divides the enemy. In South Africa for a time there were
levels of blacks in law and levels of privilege. In the movement to recognize the value of caregiving, women who get maternity
benefits and child-care expense deductions because they work outside the home are understandably threatened if they fear someone
is going to take those away and yet the caregiving movement is about simply extending those benefits to all parents. But fear of the ‘other’ view creates dissension and in the caregiving
movement this dissension, the ‘mommy wars’ nicely blocked any progress because women could not agree.
Sometimes even activists disagree amongst themselves,
sometimes violently. Sometimes it is a m ember of the oppressed group, angry
with the spokesperson, who kills him. Malcolm X and Martin Luther King
were killed by black men not white men. Gandhi was assassinated not by an outsider to his cause but by a Hindu unhappy with
how he was advancing it.. Some suggest that Judas Iscariot, a supporter of Jesus, betrayed him mainly out of impatience and
wanting a more dramatic approach.
Supporters often agree with the need for change
but disagree about the means. That is what Gandhi was all about- for he advocated
peaceful means while others wanted a violent uprising. Some women fought for
the right to vote by chaining themselves to telephone polls. In the seventies some women burned their bras while other women
looked on aghast
In the movement to value caregiving, women diverged
in the seventies, some feeling women could achieve financial independence only if they left the home. Others believed that
it was gutsier to ask for money for the role in the home. And these debates got nasty, I have been physically grabbed and
pushed out of the way at a woman’s meeting to keep me away from talking to a finance minister. Colleagues of mine have
been seated at a low table in a corner at a women’s meeting, and no one would talk to them because they represented
women in the home.
The state is well aware of the power it can
wield to capitalize on the fear of the potential –supporter.. Those who harbored runaway slaves were themselves punished
in the US. John McNeil was expelled from the Jesuit order just because he ministered
to gay people. Built by association. Those who helped Jews during the Holocaust were also enemies of the state.
It has been noticed ironically that when pregnant
women are crossing a street, the driver who cuts them off is usually a woman driver.
This has meant however that a first stage of arguing
for any vast social change has been to educate the oppressed group itself, to try to give them information and nerve to dare
to object and to not feel alone. Yet this ‘consciousness raising’ is a long road. Black slaves mostly did not
run away. It took not decades but centuries before blacks were able to convince
enough of their members that they were not second-class, that ‘black is beautiful’ for them to reach a boiling
point, a threshold, a critical mass, to carry the movement forward. And the obstacle
was partly the inertia of undergroup itself. For the cruelest part of any oppression
and its biggest secret of success is that it also convinces the victim he does not deserve better. In the caregiving movement
we see this also - women who put in 18 hours a day in the home caring for young children, often still say ‘Oh me, well
I don’t work’ just like the oppressor has taught them.
Intentionally misunderstanding and misrepresenting
the objector is par for the course. When I raised an objection at the UN that single income Canadian household was taxed sometimes
twice as much as the dual income family on identical total household income, the eventual Canadian government response was
to conjure up the scenario of the ‘rich banker’s wife’, implying that I was rich and lazy and not to be
encouraged in my sloth. Statistically the single income family is poorer than the dual but the government chose to focus on
one of the few exceptions to the norm. Such is the perpetuation of stereotypes.
Sometimes the misunderstanding of the objector’s
case is not even sinister. It may just be that the person has never walked a mile in their shoes. During the bread riots of
the French Revolution Marie Antoinette could not understand what the problem was about. If they were out of bread, she suggested
Let them eat cake”
c. Then they fight you
When ignoring the objector does not work and laughing
at him does not satisfy enough the desire to ‘win’, sometimes people move up to a more aggressive stage –to
fight
And the state can fight the objector with violence,
or more subtly in the pocketbook, dramatically be legally excluding the other or subtly by depriving the other of access to
education and legal help.
fighting physically
The most dramatic way to fight is of course
to kill the objector. Black slaves who were strung up for daring run away in
the US left a double impact – first to those who killed them to give them the smug sense they had won, but also to fellow
slaves by instilling fear. And fear is a powerful tool to keep others quiet. The first openly gay mayor, Harvey Milk in San
Francisco was shot to death. When the US police arrested a gay Houston man, Fred Paez, he was ‘accidentally shot in
the head while in custody.
In Sharpeville , South Africa black demonstrators
were massacred in March 1960. Hundreds of demonstrators were shot in Tiananmen
Square in 1989. Three million Cambodians were killed during the Pol Pot regime.
Abortion doctors have been shot at and some were killed. In Tibet 6,000
monasteries were destroyed and 1.2 million Tibetans were killed for trying to get civil rights.
The problem with such violent suppressions is
that they can backfire by creating a public sympathy. South Africa was boycotted
by the world when its policies came under public notice. Martyrs tend to make a cause more noble so the last thing the oppressor
wants is to make the dissident a hero.
So there have been ways to do the killing more
quietly such as dragging Jews off in the dead of night in Hitler’s Germany, the sudden ‘disappearance’ of
dissidents who are just never heard from again. There is also forced servitude-Chippewyan First Nation member Thanadelthur
was captured by Crees and forced into slavery
And sometimes it is hard for the oppressed
to respond to anger heroically, so that also works in the favor of the rulers. For if the oppressed gets angry, whatever he
does will seem irrational and unreasonable and violent – so he can be condemned for that. Aaung Sann Suu Kyi in Burma,
the Dalai Lama for Tibet, Nelson Mandela for South Africa have likewise resisted the temptation to violent response to the
putdowns and have worked patiently and
peacefully in nonviolent protest.
fighting by poverty
But fighting the upstarts can be more subtle-
hit the person in the pocketbook with job loss and poverty. In 1983 Linda Conway, a West Virginia kindergarten teacher was
fired because her superiors felt she looked like a lesbian. Samuel Dorr lost his job in 1981 in Kentucky because he would
not promise to end his membership in gay groups.
And it need not be job loss. Poverty itself often disables the objector. The poor cannot afford to travel to organize, cannot afford
slick ad campaigns to spread their message, cannot afford lawyers to fight for their rights. It has been estimated for instance
that it costs half a million dollars to take one case to the Supreme Court. The
poor don’t have this kind of money. In the caregiving movement in Canada we actually did have a challenge in the Income
Tax Court of Canada in the mid 1990s –and the judge admitted there was a discrimination in the law. But we were out
of money to appeal to a higher court that could overrule the discrimination.
Poverty
also eats away at self-esteem.. Living in slums, ghettos, shanty towns, run-down
housing, works to the oppressors’ advantage because it keeps the underclass feeling they are failures and demoralizes
them.
Poverty has the added advantage that it tempts
people to acts of desperation. Drug use, alcohol abuse can be used to lull the poor into not rebelling. And traffic in drugs
can create a culture of crime that perpetuates negative stereotypes of the poor. So
the poor dare not object because now they are so drug-addicted or miserable they no longer seem to be defending something
noble. White explorers knew this trick when they traded whisky to the Indians for beaver pelts.
In my experience, going from being a dual income
family with a BMW and two small homes to being a single income family with a ten year old car spewing smoke whose front seat
was propped up by boards was a shock. Having children and opting to raise them at home, deprived us not only of my salary,
which was not a surprise, but also of all the tax perks the state was giving
to those who had two pay cheques.I shopped at discount stores and felt-penned the fading knees of my pants and was spurned
by one fellow shopper once for wearing a satiny looking blouse because she assumed then that I was rich. Poverty changes you.
Poverty has been a clever way historically to
keep women down because it forces a financial dependency /Slaves needed to do the work in order to feed their families and
knew that if they objected, not only would they get beaten, but their families might starve. .
In addition, when the media shows abject poverty,
there is for some viewers a revulsion. I have been photographed in my tiny 900 square feet home by several national photographers over the past 5 years, and sometimes the shots they capture emphasize poverty. A TV reporter during my run for parliament to speak for women’s issues, called me a ‘fringe
candidate’ with no hope of winning, and focused clearly on part of the exterior of my house where the cement was peeling
off.
Sometimes formal laws ensure the poverty. Married
women had to quit their teaching or stewardess jobs. Women with children were no longer allowed to work outside the home. In 1981 US congressman Roger Jepsen introduced a bill to withhold social security, welfare and veterans’
benefits from homosexuals and though his bill did not pass, a similar one . Often however the disemboweling is more sly, Ensuring
pay for the underclass remains low, forces them to have two minimum wage jobs and precludes social activism. American blacks during the Vietnam War were more likely than whites to be drafted because, being poor,
they were less likely to be able to afford some of the reasons to not be – such as being in university.
Depriving the objector of material assets keeps
him helpless. In Canada women raising children are not even allowed to use their own money to save for a registered pension
plan. They are forced to live off the pension of another. Keeping women poor
is a subtle way of penalizing them for taking time to do caregiving.
But leaders born in poverty like Lincoln or Walesa
or Gandhi sometimes remember their roots. Gandhi all his life identified himself with the Indian untouchable class, the Harijan.
He became the voice of the masses and spoke for their suffering.
fighting the objector by passing laws to deny participation
Formal
denial of participation in the process of government also keeps people down. That is why getting the vote was so important
for underclasses. The Dominion of Canada law book of 1880 said “No woman
or lunatic shall vote:” Women did not have the vote in Canada till 1918,
in the US till 1920 and in Monaco till 1962. And married women got the vote later
than single women did in Canada for even among the oppressed there was deemed a hierarchy.
Laws to keep people from making their own decisions
have existed for decades. In ancient Rome women were simply legally subordinate
to men – even to their own sons and could not take part in legal action or government
Though abortion was legal in the US till about 1820 it was made illegal and remained on the books as a criminal act
until Roe v. Wade. It was legal to discharge Marine Robert Farley from the US
Marines in 1984 because of homosexual tendencies. Women were not allowed to inherit
property, to have a bank balance of their own a few hundred dollars and even at one time women were not considered the legal
guardians of their children- the dad was.
And the laws can be quite subtle. In Florida in
1981 colleges that allowed gay student groups simply lost state funding.
In 1952 homosexuals were banned from emigrating
to the US as ‘sexual deviates’
When
white settlers came to North America they whisked away native Indian children to residential schools thinking they were helping
them but they thereby deprived them of heir own native language and culture.
And another way to keep down the objector is to
deprive him or access to a lawyer . Historically it has often been training in the law that has crystallized for someone where
the objection was needed. Gandhi and Mandela were lawyers, Mabel French who lobbied to get women allowed to serve in the Canadian
Senate, was a lawyer.
In the caregiver movement, the exclusion from
participation is more subtle for homemakers can vote. However in 1981 when tried to write a cheque I was told it would not be honored because I ‘did not
work’. I tried to use a credit card off our family bank account and was told by the store I could not because I did
not have a note from him. When I tried to help my 12 year old son open a bank account, I was not allowed to be the adult helping
him register because I had no income. In Canada homeakers do not get a full deduction any other adult gets in the tax plan.
but instead, a lower, ‘spousal’ deduction’.
-fighting by
depriving of education
Education –the ability to read and write
–was denied black slaves. Yet Frederick Douglass escaped such slavery,
taught himself to read and later Lincoln requested him as an advisor during the Civil War. In Africa keeping women from education
has been a clever and effective way to keep them out of the loop, not knowing how things are done elsewhere and not aware
they have rights.
Sometimes
it is deemed for the good of society to not let them be equal. Massachusetts decided in 1983 that gays could not be foster
parents.
The education is not just of the underclass to
understand their rights though. It is also of the ruling class to realize the oppression, for it has been shielded from their
eyes. There is a current of fairness even in the rank and file of the ruling class and what it takes for them to create fairer
laws is often to let them know what is really happening
When Harriet Beecher Stowe found out how slaves
really were treated and wrote’ Uncle Tom’s Cabin’ she had hoped the book would help bring north and south
together. For the first time the main character in an American novel was a black
man, and a slave. But the book raised the ire of many who wanted to deny such situations existed and Stowe received threatening
letters and was even mailed a human ear, cut off a slave’s head. But her book opened eyes. Whites who in the North before
had been predisposed to turn in run away slaves from the South, stopped doing it. And Lincoln said to her during the Civil
War “So you are the little woman who made this great war:”
The secret of education was well known to Mandela
who made the prison island where he and his colleagues were jailed, an oasis of learning, even dubbed the Island University.
Each team gave itself an instructor in history, economics, politics, philosophy.
When people want more rights one of the first
replies of the ruling class is to say that they don’t know what they’re asking for, that they don’t understand
the situation. When Carol Lees in Canada confronted Statistics Canada about why homemaking and care of children were not defined
as useful ‘work’, one official said to her ‘We know what work is and
you don’t”. When I in 1997 talked to a senior tax department
official about why I thought it fairer if the state would let all parents deduct equal costs of child-rearing, not just daycare
parents, the official’s first response was that the Income Tax Act was very complicated and occupied several volumes
and was arrived at after many decades of work – i. e. that it was a done deal, already the best of all possible worlds.
Knowing the law has been a key element of the
struggle for gay rights. Chipping away at individual instances of discrimination rather than the whole gamut of areas at once,
has been successful for gay rights activists and their lawyers. In 1983 getting inheritance rights in California after the
death of a partner, in 1981 in Virginia getting visitation rights of a lesbian mother with her son, in 1977 getting equal
rights to employment hiring in the US State Department. Gays only won the right to file a joint tax form as other couples
could, in 1975 in the US. In Canada the right to inherit, the right to contribute
share medical benefits, the right to adopt, the right to have a registered domestic partnership were each won separately,
because the lawyers knew how to address a problem one step at a time. But it
is hard for an underclass to afford lawyers.
-fighting by
exclusion
When
a movement is gaining power and the rivulets are joining to form a stream, another strategy of the state is to create dams.
Avoid strength in numbers and exclude, isolate, ostracize, remove from society the dissident – to keep them away from
those who might be convincible.
Prison sentences for dissidents are a mainstay
treatment. Mandela was in prison, Gandhi was in prison. Martin Luther King, Steve Biko were jailed to get them out of the
way. Aung San Suu Kyi was put under house arrest and even though she won a landslide
election victory in Burma while arrested, she was not allowed to take power.
Lech Walesa was jailed for promoting trade unions in Poland. Nelson Mandela’s party was banned in 1960. Susan B. Anthony
was arrested and jailed for registering to vote and voting. When Canadian Carol Less in 1991 refused to sign the census because
it said as a homemaker she’ did not work’, she was told she would be liable for a $500 fine, or jail term.